Privacy on the dunny
by bellapouts
Summary: All Bella wanted was a little privacy on the toilet. But being watched annoys her and she begins screaming, which attracts the whole family. Soon, everyone is watching her on the toilet, and all she ever wanted, was privacy on the dunny. One-shot.


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I sighed as I lowered my pants and sat down on the Cullen family toilet. It was the first time I had ever needed to use one while I was at their house. I still didn't know why a coven of vampires even _had _a toilet. It was ridiculous!

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door.

"Hello?" I called.

"Hello?" came the voice of Emmett.

"What do you want?" I called. Didn't he know it was rude to interrupt someone on the toilet?

"Oh, hey Bella."

Suddenly, the door was ripped off of its hinges and I watched as Emmett placed it gently on the ground. I screamed as Emmett peered in to see what I was doing.

"What are you doing?" he asked, stunned. There was a loud splash in the toilet. Emmett chuckled.

"Oh, _that's _what you're up to in here."

The form of Jasper appeared next to Emmett. He too, peered in to see what I was doing. I screamed again.

"Bella? Is that you?" he asked, shocked.

"No, it's your mom," I said sarcastically. Jasper chuckled, just as Edward and Alice appeared at the door. They peered in at me and I screamed.

"Okay, okay, enough with the screaming!" said Emmett, sarcastically.

"What're you doing in there, Bella?" asked Alice. Edward elbowed her, but it didn't seem to hurt her.

"I'm on the toilet, Alice."

There was another loud splash in the toilet. Alice wrinkled her nose.

"Bella, do you have to do _that_ in public?" she asked, disgusted. I sighed.

"Well, this _is _the bathroom and I _was_ hoping for some privacy," I argued. Edward smiled.

"Even _you're _in here!" I pouted, pointing a finger at him. Rosalie appeared at the door. Unlike the others, she walked up to me and peered down at me. Her eyes flickered elsewhere and I knew she was checking out what was in the toilet.

I felt myself blushing redder than Santa and looked up at Rosalie.

"Um… do you mind?" I asked, annoyed.

"Ew," she shuddered. She turned and walked into Emmett's outstretched arms. There was another loud splash in the toilet.

"Wow, three in a row!" gasped Emmett, pointing at me. Jasper grinned.

"She's a human, Emmett. What do you expect, twelve?"

"It just means that she's healthy," explained Edward. I sighed. Did we _have _to discuss this?

"Shouldn't she only do one?" asked Emmett again. Alice giggled and I frowned.

"No!" I said angrily. Esme and Carlisle appeared at the door just as there was a fourth splash in the toilet.

"Oh," Esme wrinkled her nose in disgust.

"Carlisle is three poos in ten minutes healthy four a human?" asked Emmett. I rolled my eyes.

"Four," corrected Alice. "One when Esme and Carlisle came in."

"Yes, that's healthy," explained Carlisle, turning to me. "No signs of dihorrea, Bella? Is it hard or soft?"

"Okay, can you guys get out now so I can have some privacy to pull my pants up?" I asked, annoyed. My cheeks were burning, but I tried to ignore it.

"_You _need some privacy?" laughed Emmett. "What about _us_? Don't _we _need some privacy? Why should we have to watch you on the toilet?"

"Ha! _You _need privacy," I muttered.

"Yes, we do. Bella… you're a big girl now. You're not supposed to get people to watch you on the toilet. It's… vulgar. We don't need to know what you're doing on there!" argued Emmett. "You're a big girl now, and yet you're STILL getting people to watch you on the toilet!"

"EMMETT!" I screamed. "I'M THE ONE WHO WANTS SOME PRIVACY AROUND HERE! I WAS _TRYING _TO GET SOME BEFORE! IF YOU HADN'T RIPPED THE DOOR OFF OF ITS HINGES AND THROWN IT GOD KNOWS WHERE, NO ONE WOULD BE WATCHING _ME _ON THE TOILET! THIS IS YOUR ENTIRE FAULT! ALL I WANTED WAS SOME PRIVACY FOR TEN MINUTES! BUT NO! YOU HAVE TO DISCUSS WHAT I'M DOING ON HERE WITH THE WHOLE FAMILY! NOW FOR ONCE, EMMETT, CAN I JUST GET SOME PRIVACY?"

I was panting after I had said that. I had never yelled so hard in my life. Esme frowned.

"Emmett, where's the bathroom door?" she asked, a frown forming. She placed her hands on her hips and looked at him sternly.

"Over there," said Edward, pointing over at the door. Esme frowned.

"Emmett, why must you always do irrational and irresponsible things?" she asked, clearly annoyed.

"Emmett, why must you embarrass me?" I asked angrily.

"EMMETT THIS, EMMETT THAT… WELL I'VE HAD ENOUGH! I'M GOING INTO THE BATHROOM FOR SOME PRIVACY!" yelled Emmett. He picked up the door easily and placed it on back in place. Then he turned to face me. He saw me on the toilet and sighed, just as there was a fifth splash in the toilet.

"Bella, Bella, Bella!" he said, annoyed. "Why must you do that in public? It stinks, by the way. Worse than Edward."

"EMMETT!" I screamed.

That evil son of an Esme…

-

**:) I hope you understood the story. If you didn't let me know. I quite liked it :) **

**Please review so I know what you think. :) This is only a one-shot, so there will be no more chapters. :) Happy reviewing!**

x

**-Bellapouts**


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